Leave Guilt and shame in the closet


Why do we buy items we never end up using? Perhaps you bought it for a life that hasn’t become a reality. Perhaps you bought it and thought you’d love it, only to be disappointed. Perhaps you bought it thinking it would motivate you to lose weight, make more money, or ask for more from life. Sadly, more often than not, these items do not follow through, someday when never comes, and we are left disappointed, and dripping with guilt and shame. When we buy items, we are often purchasing a promise. Today I want to talk about the final entry of the Show Pony Summer Series (it’s October after all, time to wrap it up) #14, Leave Guilt and Shame in the Closet.

One of the big things that can hold us back from using our special items is the guilt we feel over them. I can’t reverse your decision to buy it, but I can give you permission to use it. You have two choices, start using your item or get rid of it. Yup, it’s really true.

Sure, you can hold onto your item, hoping that someday you will have the kind of life where you host immaculate dinner parties with flowing champagne, or you can start drinking your orange juice out of the champagne flute. 

I wish I could give you the kind of job where you floated around in a power blazer or swirly dresses. Your job isn’t changing tomorrow, but your choice to start wearing those blazers for school pickup can.

I wish you had immaculate penmanship and incredible ideas to fill your beautiful journals with swirling calligraphy. Or, you can start using those beautiful journals for lists, to-dos, and random thoughts. 

We ruminate on previous decisions, criticizing ourselves in our heads and using these items as measuring sticks for all the ways we’re not enough. Guilt and shame over past decisions and disappointment in ourselves does no good in helping us use our things.  I can promise that what does work is making an intention to use your stuff, and shifting your mindset away from scarcity ‘will I have enough?’ to abundance ‘I have everything I need.’

I know it’s made a massive difference in my life to use everything I own and see myself as worthy and enough to do so. Join me in the place of permission to use and enjoy your stuff, guilt and shame are not invited here. 

Do you struggle with negative thoughts about previous decisions? What will it take for you to give yourself permission to use your stuff?

5 thoughts on “Leave Guilt and shame in the closet

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  2. I have cleaned up all my old worn sweaters and am finally going to wear my beautiful new sweaters!! Thank you for your beautiful story about the candle! I saw the TED talk in a time we are cleaning up my mothers house full of clutter. Now she suffers from a serious illness somewhere in a nursing home, waiting for her end. Leaving a house full of clutter she kept “just in case”and that no one wants.

  3. I’m wearing my fabulous shoes to school pick up tomorrow rather than my tatty sneakers….I need to use my nice stuff rather than saving it for a day that never happens. I must say though I buy dresses I love for my very part time job & I do wear them as I love any chance to wear a nice dress over boring black work pants & a shirt.

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